150 lines
8.6 KiB
Markdown
150 lines
8.6 KiB
Markdown
---
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layout: post
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title: Reflexive non-binary pronouns
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date: 2021-09-24
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category: language
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---
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Pronouns! Aren't they fun? Turns out they are not as straightforward
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as I thought. Today, I took a quick poll of people in the `#nonbinary` channel
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from the [LGBTQ in Tech Slack](https://lgbtq.technology){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"} to find out what is more popular: "themself" or "themselves"? The results surprised
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me.
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<!-- more -->
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## The data
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I asked in the channel:
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> Quick poll for people who use they/them pronouns. For reflexive pronoun do you use:
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> <br> 1️⃣ themselves
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> <br> 2️⃣ themself
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> {:class="normal-quote"}
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Of the 23 that participated, 20 selected "2️⃣ themself," and only 2 picked
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"️1️⃣ themselves." The last person suggested "theirself," which at the time of
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writing was not part of [Pronoun Island](https://pronoun.is){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"} (maybe an opportunity for someone to [contribute](https://github.com/witch-house/pronoun.is/issues){:target="\_blank"}?)
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I was expecting more people to prefer "themselves" because I more commonly
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hear "they are" instead of "they is," and I thought "themselves" would be more
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consistent. Hmmm! 🧐
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(By the way, this sample is not representative. This was a very unscientific study.)
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## Themself or themselves?
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Lots of [other people](https://www.thesaurus.com/e/grammar/they-is-a-singular-pronoun){:target="\_blank"} have written about this before, even the [Canadian Department of Justice](https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/csj-sjc/legis-redact/legistics/p1p30.html){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}.
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I have had trouble checking many of the non-academic resources I've found for consistency.
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For example, the Canadian DoJ site [updated 2020-06-01, accessed 2021-09-24] says
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"The current _Oxford English Dictionary_ (OED) Online does not have an entry for
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themself;" which is **not true**!
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### someone is wrong on the internet
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I checked the OED myself, and I found
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[this usage category](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/334443#eid1291513750){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"} for what I will call "gender unspecified":
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> **themself**, _pron_.
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> <br>2. In anaphoric reference to a **singular** pronoun or noun.
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> <br>b. With a generic or indefinite antecedent referring to an individual (e.g. a person, someone, the patient), used esp. so as to make a general reference to such an **individual without specifying gender.**
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> {:class="normal-quote"}
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The examples date from 1463 to 2009. The contemporary example is a publication
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noting Facebook's [historical usage of gender neutral "themself"](https://theweek.com/articles/451426/evolution-facebooks-pronoun-problem){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"} prior to
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introducing a gender-based pronoun sytem. (Now, Facebook correctly asks pronouns
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separately from gender.)
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Okay, so that works for "gender unspecified," but what about "genderqueer" or
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gender non-conforming? Well, there is [another usage category](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/334443#eid1291513780){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"} for that:
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> 2c. Used to refer to a person whose sense of personal **identity does not correspond to conventional sex and gender distinctions**, and who has typically asked to be referred to by the pronouns they, them, etc.
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> {:class="normal-quote"}
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So the difference here is instead of "we don't know their gender," the case is
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"this person goes by _they_." The examples cited on this category are much more
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contemporary than the ones for "gender unspecified," dating back only to 2011.
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To me, this indicates that there has long been a grammatical precedent for
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_themself_ meaning "gender unspecified," but people explicitly identifying as
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gender non-conforming and communicating _in English_ about themselves with
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they-based pronouns is _relatively_ new.
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### words are hard
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Now if we take a look at the [entry for _themselves_](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/200324?#eid1292523640){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}
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in the OED, its usage categories have a little more varied history. The singular
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reflexive, usage ("they love themselves") dates back to 1529 in the
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["gender unspecified" sense](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/200324?#eid1291693070){:class="external-link" :target="\_blank"}. However, the ["genderqueer" sense](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/200324?#eid1291693480){:class="external-link" :target="\_blank"}
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only dates back to 2009.
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There is [another meaning](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/200324?#eid1292523640)
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for _themselves_ called _emphatic_, as in "the person themselves."
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For "gender unspecified" this goes back to 1782, but again for
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"genderqueer" it's very recent: 2019.
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> **themselves**, _pron_.
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> <br> 1. Emphatic uses.
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> <br> b. Used in apposition to a **singular** noun or pronoun (e.g. the person themselves), typically to **avoid specifying** the gender of the individual being referred to; Later also: used in apposition to a proper noun or pronoun referring to a person whose sense of personal **identity does not correspond to conventional sex and gender distinctions**.
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> {:class="normal-quote"}
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### so what's it gonna be?
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Ultimately, I think _themself_ wins here. The word is:
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- More natural in the "gender unspecified" sense
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- More popular in the contemporary "genderqueer" sense
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- More easily distinguished from the plural "themselves" in all senses of the word
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_Themselves_ is slightly older on the Internet for queer people than _themself_,
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but we're literally comparing a 2011 [university newsletter](https://dailybruin.com/about){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}
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article with a 2009 Twitter post, so I don't give that much weight.
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## Themself or theirself?
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I like the grammatical consistency of "theirself," but I hadn't heard of it
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before asking my poll. Unfortunately, the
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[_Oxford Engish Dictonary_ entry for "theirself"](https://www.oed.com/view/Entry/362903){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}
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as of 2021 is behind a paywall. If you could access the page—maybe [using your public library card](https://public.oed.com/help/){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}—you would see that the singular, reflexive, "gender unspecified" usage goes back to 1819.
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However, there is curiously **no usage category for "theirself" in the
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"genderqueer" sense.** Quick, someone make a Tumblr post!
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So I decided to look at the [Google Books Ngram Viewer](https://books.google.com/ngrams/info){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}
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to see how usage of these words in their corpus of books has changed with time.
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See for yourself:
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[source](https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=themself%2Ctheirself&year_start=1800&year_end=2019&corpus=26&smoothing=3&direct_url=t1%3B%2Cthemself%3B%2Cc0%3B.t1%3B%2Ctheirself%3B%2Cc0){: class="external-link" target="\_blank"}
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{: class="figure-caption"}
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_Themself_ seems to be significantly more popular today than _theirself_.
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_Theirself_ seems to have peaked in 2002, although it's starting to rise again
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as of 2018.
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## tl;dr
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I took the liberty of summarizing all the findings above into a table:
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| Reflexive pronoun | "gender unspecified" | "genderqueer" | Popular queer usage |
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| ----------------- | -------------------- | ------------- | ------------------- |
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| themself | 1463 | 2011 | a lot |
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| themselves | 1529 | 2009 | some |
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| theirself | 1819 | -- | a little |
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Oldest OED-cited usages and popular queer usage for singular, reflexive usage
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{:class="figure-caption"}
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After all this "research" and following the discussion in the Slack channel
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where I made my poll, I came to the following conclusions:
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- Language is hard; it's okay to be wrong.
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- "Themself" is more common than "theirself."
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- If you're queer, do what sounds best for you.
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- If you're referring to someone else, ask them.
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- _Maybe_ default to "themself" if you're not sure.
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- As always with this sort of thing, [let people choose](https://github.com/witch-house/pronoun.is/issues/46){:class="external-link" target="\_blank"}.
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Soo... what will I try out for myself? Honestly, I'll probably go back and forth.
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<p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/adweek-flex-pride-month-binary-gj16b2C0szCUZwuVkE" target="_blank" class="external-link">via GIPHY</a></p>
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