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layout, title, date, category
| layout | title | date | category |
|---|---|---|---|
| post | Reflexive non-binary pronouns | 2021-09-24 | language |
Pronouns! Aren't they fun? Turns out they are not as straightforward
as I thought. Today, I took a quick poll of people in the #nonbinary channel
from the LGBTQ in Tech Slack{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} to find out what is more popular: "themself" or "themselves"? The results surprised
me.
The data
I asked in the channel:
Quick poll for people who use they/them pronouns. For reflexive pronoun do you use:
1️⃣ themselves
2️⃣ themself {:class="normal-quote"}
Of the 23 that participated, 20 selected "2️⃣ themself," and only 2 picked "️1️⃣ themselves." The last person suggested "theirself," which at the time of writing was not part of Pronoun Island{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} (maybe an opportunity for someone to contribute{:target="_blank"}?)
I was expecting more people to prefer "themselves" because I more commonly hear "they are" instead of "they is," and I thought "themselves" would be more consistent. Hmmm! 🧐
(By the way, this sample is not representative. This was a very unscientific study.)
Themself or themselves?
Lots of other people{:target="_blank"} have written about this before, even the Canadian Department of Justice{:class="external-link" target="_blank"}. I have had trouble checking many of the non-academic resources I've found for consistency. For example, the Canadian DoJ site [updated 2020-06-01, accessed 2021-09-24] says "The current Oxford English Dictionary (OED) Online does not have an entry for themself;" which is not true!
someone is wrong on the internet
I checked the OED myself, and I found this usage category{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} for what I will call "gender unspecified":
themself, pron.
2. In anaphoric reference to a singular pronoun or noun.
b. With a generic or indefinite antecedent referring to an individual (e.g. a person, someone, the patient), used esp. so as to make a general reference to such an individual without specifying gender. {:class="normal-quote"}
The examples date from 1463 to 2009. The contemporary example is a publication noting Facebook's historical usage of gender neutral "themself"{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} prior to introducing a gender-based pronoun sytem. (Now, Facebook correctly asks pronouns separately from gender.)
Okay, so that works for "gender unspecified," but what about "genderqueer" or gender non-conforming? Well, there is another usage category{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} for that:
2c. Used to refer to a person whose sense of personal identity does not correspond to conventional sex and gender distinctions, and who has typically asked to be referred to by the pronouns they, them, etc. {:class="normal-quote"}
So the difference here is instead of "we don't know their gender," the case is "this person goes by they." The examples cited on this category are much more contemporary than the ones for "gender unspecified," dating back only to 2011. To me, this indicates that there has long been a grammatical precedent for themself meaning "gender unspecified," but people explicitly identifying as gender non-conforming and communicating in English about themselves with they-based pronouns is relatively new.
words are hard
Now if we take a look at the entry for themselves{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} in the OED, its usage categories have a little more varied history. The singular reflexive, usage ("they love themselves") dates back to 1529 in the "gender unspecified" sense{:class="external-link" :target="_blank"}. However, the "genderqueer" sense{:class="external-link" :target="_blank"} only dates back to 2009.
There is another meaning for themselves called emphatic, as in "the person themselves." For "gender unspecified" this goes back to 1782, but again for "genderqueer" it's very recent: 2019.
themselves, pron.
1. Emphatic uses.
b. Used in apposition to a singular noun or pronoun (e.g. the person themselves), typically to avoid specifying the gender of the individual being referred to; Later also: used in apposition to a proper noun or pronoun referring to a person whose sense of personal identity does not correspond to conventional sex and gender distinctions. {:class="normal-quote"}
so what's it gonna be?
Ultimately, I think themself wins here. The word is:
- More natural in the "gender unspecified" sense
- More popular in the contemporary "genderqueer" sense
- More easily distinguished from the plural "themselves" in all senses of the word
Themselves is slightly older on the Internet for queer people than themself, but we're literally comparing a 2011 university newsletter{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} article with a 2009 Twitter post, so I don't give that much weight.
Themself or theirself?
I like the grammatical consistency of "theirself," but I hadn't heard of it before asking my poll. Unfortunately, the Oxford Engish Dictonary entry for "theirself"{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} as of 2021 is behind a paywall. If you could access the page—maybe using your public library card{:class="external-link" target="_blank"}—you would see that the singular, reflexive, "gender unspecified" usage goes back to 1819. However, there is curiously no usage category for "theirself" in the "genderqueer" sense. Quick, someone make a Tumblr post!
So I decided to look at the Google Books Ngram Viewer{:class="external-link" target="_blank"} to see how usage of these words in their corpus of books has changed with time. See for yourself:
source{: class="external-link" target="_blank"}
{: class="figure-caption"}
Themself seems to be significantly more popular today than theirself. Theirself seems to have peaked in 2002, although it's starting to rise again as of 2018.
tl;dr
I took the liberty of summarizing all the findings above into a table:
| Reflexive pronoun | "gender unspecified" | "genderqueer" | Popular queer usage |
|---|---|---|---|
| themself | 1463 | 2011 | a lot |
| themselves | 1529 | 2009 | some |
| theirself | 1819 | -- | a little |
Oldest OED-cited usages and popular queer usage for singular, reflexive usage {:class="figure-caption"}
After all this "research" and following the discussion in the Slack channel where I made my poll, I came to the following conclusions:
- Language is hard; it's okay to be wrong.
- "Themself" is more common than "theirself."
- If you're queer, do what sounds best for you.
- If you're referring to someone else, ask them.
- Maybe default to "themself" if you're not sure.
- As always with this sort of thing, let people choose{:class="external-link" target="_blank"}.
Soo... what will I try out for myself? Honestly, I'll probably go back and forth.
